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Reply to "In-laws upset they can't visit ON grandchild's birthday"
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[quote=Anonymous] OP to your original question on how to reset their expectations away from every kids birthday centering around them visiting, you just have to be direct. This year is actually a good time to start getting them used to it since your parents are in town from another country. Just be direct that visiting this week won’t work. Focus on when the next time you will see them will be. If they are upset that is entirely their problem. I would bet you $ 10000 that how upset they seem to you is exaggerated on their part because it’s a play to manipulate you into letting them dictate what they want. The more you try to manage their feelings the worse they will behave. I’ve watched my MIL pull this with my SIL. SIL is a people pleaser so MIL feigns all sorts of antics to get her way. DH and I do not care if she throws a fit or pouts or acts offended and MIL knows this so she doesn’t play these games with us. For next year, nip talk of birthday visits in the bud early. Tell them you may be traveling on vacation or something. Once you have a few years when your kids birthday doesn’t revolve around granny being the center of attention, she’ll have different expectations.[/quote]
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