Reply to I think my boyfriend may not be straight..

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I think my boyfriend may not be straight.. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We had sex during the first year, but even then, it always felt like he preferred to schedule it rather than be spontaneous. He’d say things like “we’ll do it later,” but then “later” didn’t always come. Over time, it just got rarer, and now for the past two years, there’s been no sex at all. There’s always a reason—he’s tired, stressed, I lost too much weight, or I was annoyed with him (which I admit I have been, because he’s very secretive with his phone and just seems totally uninterested in intimacy so him using that as an excuse never fixed it).

this close male friend of his he spends a lot of time with—someone I’ve never met, despite them knowing each other for years. They talk a lot about philosophy (they both teach it), and he helped this friend write a paper on anal pleasure—which honestly flew over my head regarding what it's actually about, but it definitely made me pause. I’ve also started noticing other things: he reads a lot of ancient Greek texts and once joked to me that “the Greeks were all gay with each other,” and he’s obsessed with James Joyce—especially Ulysses and Finnegans Wake. AI tells me there may be a lot of tales of regressing who you are with gender and sexuality in those books... I used to just think he was a quirky academic, but now I’m wondering if those interests have more personal resonance for him. He remembered Bloom's Day this month but forgot my birthday until my friend sent me flowers...

He also wears a lot of pinks and purples, has rainbow stickers on his water bottles (rainbow colors not just a rainbow), he loves P-Town when we go to the Cape, and while I always thought of that as just part of being a liberal, nerdy academic guy… now I’m not so sure. He annotates books in ways that seem very intimate—like underlining his friend’s name in a Greek tragedy.

[/quote]

None of these things make someone gay. Liking members of the same sex makes someone gay. You can like a lot of "gay things", including gay people, and not be interested in romantic and/or sexual relationships with members of the same sex. There are no top-secret clues for being gay. Gays, being people, like all kinds of things. Some gays like rainbows and musical theatre and "stereotypically gay" things. Some gays like guns and nascar and coors and power tools (I, myself, am a power tools kind of gay). A surprising number of gay men I've known have been really into boobs, so I wouldn't even cross Hooters-going guys off the "might be gay" list. Some gay people are flamboyantly out about their gayness. Some gay people "act straight". All gay people are gay. If you're not willing to ask, and they're not willing to tell you, there's really no litmus test for determining someone's sexuality. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics