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[quote=Anonymous]Yes, OP, I go through this myself. Most of the replies here haven’t been through it and don’t understand.

For me, I’ll catch H (similar to inappropriate texting). I’ll blow up, start packing my things, put in apartment applications, etc. During this time H is completely stoic and seemingly unbothered.

Within 48 hours the hysterical bonding kicks in, which is where I become a sobbing mess and do everything I can to get the bonding back. Always ends in mind-blowing sex for about 2-3days. Then the resentment and anger kicks in and I got back to wanting nothing to do with him, but also not angry enough to leave.

Evolutionarily this is designed to keep partners together while they have young children/babies. Babies don’t survive if the parents split up, so the hysterical bonding makes you attached again.

It has gotten better as the kids get older, just a sort of acceptance that’s who H is. We rarely have sex and rarely spend time together. I don’t try to control his behavior and I don’t go looking for anything. I’m basically just waiting until the kids grow up and plan on going my own way, whether or not we officially divorce. But I basically just have to keep myself from feeling any real emotion. [/quote]

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