Reply to We Always Have to Visit DW's Aunt

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[quote=Anonymous]Sounds like some boundary issues. There is no way for any of these people to know you are passing through unless your wife tells them. She is putting pleasing her parents and aunt above everyone else and not making it a joint decision. A woman in her 60s is perfectly capable of creating a rich social life. Why isn't your MIL and FIL visiting her more? If your wife genuinely enjoyed visits, I would suggest she sometimes go on her own and have boundaries when you all join her. If she is doing it out of obligation that you have to wonder why she puts her parent's wishes ahead of yours. There again I would send her on her own some.

Also, what is the plan as this woman ages? Does your wife add her onto your roster of help? I had a relative I saw out of obligation who had totally unrealistic ideas about how we should be involved just because she saw us more than others. No good deed goes unpunished with some. The shit hit the fan when we could not be her point person because we were sandwiched enough. Wait till you see what it is to have years of your own parental emergencies and MIL and FIL emergencies.[/quote]

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