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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, my DH went back to work after taking 8 work days off. His company only offered 2 weeks’ paid paternity leave at the time (4 months later: they changed the policy to 3 months for all with no grandfathering and he spent the next year covering for 8 different parenting leaves! It was awful) and he thought saving 2 work days for the coming months would help.

Anyway, my baby was full term and it was so effing hard. What you are doing is so hard and I am proud of you and your tough little baby!

I don’t think I’d had a proper meal for the entire 2 first weeks and certainly hadn’t slept. We didn’t have family that could help and our friends also had very tiny infants. It was truly an awful time. I wasn’t healed and had nasty birth injuries and couldn’t do stroller walks or use an ergo until 5-6 weeks while I healed.

I found a baby and mom group run by a hospital and facilitated by a nurse and that was a lifeline. It gave me a place to go once a week. The nurse would hold babies for us so we could go off to a corner and cry, and someone always did.

1) order every meal. Get hot, interesting food for lunch and dinner. We didn’t have DoorDash or anything in my area at the time and I remember being just plain hungry and that making every emotion worse.

2) when your DH gets home, he has to take over no matter how tired he is or you’ll never fully heal

3) we had fisher price rock n plays, but they’re now banned. Get a snoo or whatever the thing is now so you have a safe place to leave your baby. Spend whatever it takes to get a baby receptacle so you can shower or change and know that they’ll be safe.

4) is there any way you can hire a night nurse? Someone? Please try. It wasn’t in our budget but I really needed a third adult.

I’m sending you genuine feelings of love and empathy- I remember those days vividly and my DD is now 10. [/quote]

This is so helpful! Thank you!

1. I don’t order out much but I have been doing lots of easy snacks and leftovers.

2. That’s our plan. He does a lot now and I’m nervous for when he goes back to work.

3. We have a snoo and we love it. We have a second hand halo that we have been using in the living room and that’s been really helpful.

4. We can hire help but I’m just nervous. We are on a super strict feeding schedule and I have to pump every 2-3 hours. I am hoping to nurse so we aren’t switching to formula yet. He’s just too sleepy and small to nurse. [/quote]

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