Reply to Guys who do all the cooking — do they expect something in return?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH is our primary cook and he makes double my salary. Cooking is his way of decompressing so it doesn’t feel like a burden to him. I do most of the family/house stuff that requires deadlines, planning etc. because that’s not his strength.This all unfolded organically, not in a transactional way at all.[/quote]
+1  DH likes to cook, learned from his mom at an early age.  His sisters are all great cooks, too.

I dislike cooking, always have.  I did not learn to cook until I was 42 after I pulled back from work to be a sahm. But, when DH did all the cooking, I did all the other stuff, including cleaning up after dinner. He didn't mind the cooking, and I didn't mind the cleaning.

When the kids came along, he even pureed all their baby food. I was terrible at it, but I did everything else - scheduling, appointments, all the mental lift. He's not good at multitasking and remembering to schedule things, planning, but I am.

When we switched roles, he did all the cleaning up after dinner, but since I was a sahm at that point, I was doing everything else.

Now, our kids are older (one out of the house), and he is semi-retired, while I am still working FT.  We've come full circle - he does all the cooking and grocery shopping. I will cook on occasion, usually the weekend, and do meal planning because he's still bad at planning.

And yea, I have been making more than  him for a a few years now.

Use your strengths in the marriage.  It took me a long time to accept that our equal partnership wasn't equal in terms of actual duties, but equal in the sense that we each contributed to our abilities.[/quote]

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