Reply to Ever had to “force” your kid into an activity?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you have to figure out why she doesn't want to do it. I have a kid who resists trying things, and the reason why is that she doesn't like being bad at things and when you first start, you are often not good. This issue gets worse as kids get older.

We worked to find intro classes that were age appropriate (no sticking a 10 yr old in a class with 6 yr olds, but also don't stick a beginner in a class with kids who have been at it for years). Sometimes that might mean the first few lessons are solo privates and then we talk to the instructor about where to place her (this is how she got started in tennis, which she loves, but she was completely terrified of going to a group class with kids who already knew how to play or are the sort who taken to ball sports really easily).

I bet you anything that part of her DOES want to do some kind of activity but that fear and insecurity (whether about the activity or socially) are what are holding her back. So it's actually really important you figure it out and help her find something, not only so she has an extra-curricular, but also so she learns how to fight through those fears and try new things. That's a life skill, just like swimming or cooking. You can't abandon her on this.[/quote]

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