Reply to Ever had to “force” your kid into an activity?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I tried to do this with my oldest, but I am honestly too lazy.  I will give kids rides and pay for private lessons and all of that for my kids who want to do it.  But I’m not going to fight for the opportunity to sit at a swim meet for four hours every Monday of the summer.  If my kids don’t want to do it, I can’t work up the motivation to force them.  [/quote]

Why would you sit at a swim meet for four hours? Just drop them off and pick them up. My mother was very lazy and it shined through in a lot of her parenting. I swore to myself I wouldn't be a lazy parent. [/quote]

I’m not a lazy parent.  Like I said, I drive my kids all around and schedule and pay for private lessons and camps when they want to do stuff.  I have a daughter who is really into ballet, and that has been a lot.  I have another kid who is into D&D, and I take him to his stuff and go to gaming conventions and ren fairs and help him with his campaigns and am working with him on the board game he is designing.

But I lost my patience with forcing my kids to do stuff early on.  
If I dropped my kids off at a swim meet, and they didn’t want to be there, they would just walk home. They wouldn’t stay and swim.  I stayed and made my oldest swim for one summer before I decided it was a stupid way to spend my time, and it was messing up my relationship with my child.  
When my other kids wanted to swim, I 
took them to morning practices and went to the meets and cheered them on.  But I’m not doing it for a kid who doesn’t want to be there.  
[/quote]
It's bonkers that your kids would leave an activity and just walk home without permission.  Something is wrong there.

I have a kid who gets nervous about new things so I often have to push her to try activities.  I only push on things I think she'll enjoy.  For instance, last summer I signed her up for a sewing camp. She threw a fit and didn't want to go.  When I finally figured out the issue, it turned out she was concerned that she didn't know how to sew so wouldn't know how to do it.  I explained that no one expects 8 yo to be proficient at sewing and they'll show her how.  She went to camp very, very reluctantly the first day, but had a terrific time and ended up loving it.

My dd's like this with pretty much all aspects of life--hesitant at first but then warms up.  If she tries something and hates it, I do let her quit if I think she's given it a fair try.  But I do ask her to try new things and don't let her just sit home because it feels safe to her and is easier for me.[/quote]

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