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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Maybe let them know they are welcome to prepare their own meals.

[/quote]

Of course I told them that, that I'm happy to get them stuff to cook. They are much, much more passive. I showed my dad how to make coffee and he won't try to do it so they wait for me (they wake up really early) for me to set the breakfast table and make coffee. Maybe it's an age thing. It's very difficult.[/quote]

OMG my ILs did this and I just started ignoring them and working long hours.  That was much better than actively being rude, which was the alternative for me.  Since women have some inherent ability cook and care for the elderly (obviously we store this in our ovaries, breasts, and vaginas), the responsibility fell to me in their eyes, rather than DH.  So, I had a word with DH and just took care of myself.  I leave at 6am for the office and the ILs would literally get up and sit with an empty cup for me to make them coffee at 530a.  We have a nespresso machine!!! They couldn't figure out how to put the capsule in and push the button.

Fast forward 10 years FIL died and MIL declined even more.  She requires around the clock care - has dementia, wheelchair bound, wears diapers, etc.  She wanted to move in with us because we are the only ones living a "traditional" life - ie married with kids.  She has a 50+ DD who is a spinster and a very gay older son.  She's super conservative religious, so naturally she wants to live with golden boy.  I told SIL, not a chance, when she asked.  She lives with her gay son.  He does a fantastic job looking after her with his long-term partner.  I'm sure MiL never in her wildest dreams imagined this.  BiLs partner is well suited to elderly care and I am not.  He doesn't even have ovaries.[/quote]

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