Reply to What is with the lavish bachelor(ette) trips?

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[quote=Anonymous]Only go on a trip like this if you will not be sad or put out financially if the trip winds up being a bust. Because many of them are. It's not always a great bonding experience. In fact, I'd say it's rarely a great bonding experience. At best it will be a fun excuse to party in another city with people you like.

I declined a lot of these invites in my 30s with zero regrets. You have to evaluate how important this friend is to you, how much you like this particularly group, your schedule, and your finances. I set the rule that if it felt like an obligation I'd resent, I just said I couldn't make it.

Also, learn to stay off SM or manage any FOMO you might feel. That's just life, you won't always be part of what others are doing. SM makes this *so* much worse especially if you are feeling kind of insecure at the moment (everyone goes through phases like this). You need strategies for managing that, whether it's just not looking at Instagram when stuff like this is going on, to planning fun things back home to keep your mind off it if you think you'll feel left out.

It feels like such big deal at the time but I'm mid-40s, married, and a mom now and none of this matters at all. I have some fond memories of weddings and bachelorettes but honestly a lot of them are boring or only okay and it's fine. This is not what makes or breaks a friendship. There are women who attended my wedding/bachelorette who I haven't seen or interacted with in 10 years, and I have two friends who couldn't even attend my wedding or bachelorette because one was living abroad and the other had a baby the week before, and they are two of my closest friends.

It's just a party, it matters less than you think.[/quote]

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