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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  All boys.  One had issues with grades in high school but graduated. The other one had perfect grades in high school.  Both partied alot in college.  [b]We gave them too many chances to get through college before we stopped funding.  [/b]
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You stopped paying for college before they could graduate? Were they on track to graduate? Please explain. The worst thing a parent can do is make a child believe college is attainable, and cut them of short of a degree. It's the degree that matters to hiring managers, not the way it was earned, with ease or with much difficulty. Not having a college degree shuts them out of a lot of earning potential. You might just have shot yourself in the foot there.

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We just couldn’t afford to continue to pay for semesters that they wouldn’t show up to class, etc.  After 5.5 years, we just had to be done.  [/quote]

This is hard because the flunking out of college occurred so long ago.  Could you offer to pay for them to finish their degrees one or two classes at a time and they must pass?

I hate to say it but 5.5 years was a really, really long time to enable that behavior.  I think if kid is not doing well after 1-2 semesters, it's reasonable to have a sit down, come to Jesus discussion, at that point giving them 1 semester to turn it around.  If they don't and have no money, can offer them to come home, enroll locally or get involved in a trade, and get a part time job.  I do think some 19 year olds can fall through the cracks with drinking, drugs, and mental health issues.  If a kid is not particularly self-motivated and confident with who they are, it can make a huge difference in their futures for the parents to be remain heavily involved for those years.

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