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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My brother is the same but I don’t feel in any way responsible. He spends much more time with SIL family, but she makes the effort to stay connected to her family.

My mother blames my brother’s distance on SIL, but I think it’s common. It’s called the “matrilineal advantage”

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/21/well/family/the-maternal-grandparent-advantage.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Hk8.t7Gx.yp1DhMLS2OIq&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for posting that link—I finally got around to reading it this morning. There’s definitely major matrilineal advantage going on in DH’s family. MIL, SIL, SIL’s daughters, and now SIL’s granddaughters are an impenetrable axis. I’ve always felt like an outsider and just stopped trying to play the game.

I went to the comments in the NYT article and saw that the number one reader pick is essentially asking/stating the same thing as my post, but in regards to the MIL relationship. Still, same idea.

“Once again... the focus is all on the daughter/daughter-in-law, and whether she is limiting access to the grandchildren.  How about the SON?  My in-laws are a bit nutty though generally well-meaning but I have enough to handle with navigating my own parents' emotional needs and wants.  Why am I suddenly also solely responsible for my inlaws' needs?  My husband can call them back, send the videos, arrange the visits, and if he fails to do this (which he generally does, often by design), why should this be a reflection on me?”[/quote]

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