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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you hold your brother’s wife accountable for his behavior? I’ve never had a close relationship with my SIL, and it’s fine—we’re very different and not close in age. But my husband has never put much effort into his relationship with his family—as a brother, uncle, or son—and I sometimes feel like I’m held responsible for that.

Like if he forgets to RSVP for a wedding, or doesn’t buy gifts for his nieces and nephews, or if he’s not visiting his mother very frequently, it seems to reflect more poorly on me than him, but I don’t know if I’m just imagining hard feelings.[/quote]

It I'd definitely not your responsibility. You are not his mom.

I have two married brothers, and they have their own families and responsibilities. They are not expected to go out of their way to plan family events. They do their best.  My sister in law is strained or estranged with some relatives and my brother goes out of his way to make her happy while also meeting as many family obligations as they can. [/quote]

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