Reply to Other parent is irresponsible and selfish and it's hurting DC

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Reply to "Other parent is irresponsible and selfish and it's hurting DC"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unbelievable how many people are attacking OP or blaming her for this situation.  Sometimes specialist appointments are very hard to get and you schedule them when you can.  The dad is a grown adult and needs to prioritize his son's doctor appointments over a social life.

OP, I'll only say that if your son is a teen he will soon be old enough to decide where he wants to live.  If he doesn't want to miss his tutoring, maybe he should just plan to be with you in those days.  There is little a judge can do if your DC wants consistency and parenting.[/quote]

At what age can teens decide where they want to live? and if they want to go to other parent’s house or not?[/quote]

Honestly, in early HS my kids started telling my exDH that they would not come to see him when it conflicted with their schedules. Teens had therapy, tutoring, after school activities and plans with friends.  I scheduled as much as I can on my own time, but it's not my job to make them go see him. Ex was always welcome to come and get them and take them to appointments or drive them to activities but never did.  Yes, that's how "custody" time is during HS -- you are basically a chauffeur to their lives and get to talk and bond with them while driving.  If you don't want to do that as a parent, you miss a lot.  Yes, exDH could get mad and file about some kind of custodial violation, but I have the receipts - literally - all the appointments that are made on my own time, all the emails with doctors asking to switch or reschedule appointments that aren't on my time, texts from DC asking for tutoring, and all the payments I made for copays and tutoring without exDH paying half (because they are "extras" and not in our agreement).  I really don't think any judge is going to change custody time based on that.  Anyway, file a complaint and by the time we get thru the court system, the kid will nearly be 18.

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You had or allowed your kids to not have a relationship.   It sounds like you set up a lot of barriers.  Seeing their dad is just as important as tutoring, therapy and activities and more important than friends.  You alienated him.  You don’t schedule things on his time without talking to him as not everyone has a flexible job.  He pays child support.  That is his portion of expenses.  [/quote]

You realize teens don’t want to spend most of their time with either parent, right? They have friends and activities and other priorities as teens. If either parent is regularly forcing them to miss out on things that are important to them, they’re going to stop wanting a relationship.[/quote]

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