Reply to Other parent is irresponsible and selfish and it's hurting DC

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DC's other parent can't get his life together and is selfish and ended up missing several doctor's appointments for DC so he could see his gf. On purpose, without letting me know so we could cancel. He has also told DC tutors were cancelled when they were not because he was too lazy to drive him. DC needs those tutors and wants those tutors.

All the cancellation fees (in the case of the tutors the full fees) are billed to me and we have had at least one doctor refuse to see DC any more due too many cancellations.

I try to really hard to get appointments on my days and mostly succeed but it's sometimes not possible, and the DC needs tutors on specific days that cannot be changed and one of them falls on the days DC is with the other parent.

Has anyone successfully argued getting full custody due to this type of lying and irresponsibility?

I just don't see how a grown person can claim they want custody of their child and act like this.[/quote]

And you didn’t know this about him when you decided to make a baby with him?[/quote]

NP.  What is the point of this comment -- you didn't know your kid would be a bad dad, so you and your kids should just suffer silently?  OFC that's not the appropriate response.  I am not OP but I was quite surprised when my now exDH started shunning responsibility for our kids.  He was always really into our relationship and was the first to speak of marriage and kids.  All his friends and work colleagues would, unsolicited, say what a great guy he was.  But, in retrospect, the birth of the first child was too much for him. He could manage alone.  He could manage with a wife that was very independent and didn't ask a lot from him.  But, when DC1 was born, he couldn't hack it -- there was no one to look after him and he couldn't help anyone else.

And FYI, victims of abuse (and neglect and irresponsibility is a form of abuse) are rarely abused from the initial moment.  Abusers are nice and kind and often responsible in the beginning to draw the victim in.  Often the abuse only begins when a woman is tied down -- committed to the relationship in some way, engaged, living together, pregnant, etc.  The abuse or a neglect comes as a surprise and then is followed by a period of apology and love.  This cycle can be very confusing and hard to get out of.  I was very fortunate that I had a career, supportive family and very large savings.

OP, you basically have to stop counting on your ex.  Don't make appointments on his time.  Make them on yours, or make them in such a way that you can take the child and drop the child off after to dad after the necessary medical and tutoring appointments.  If it works for you, offer a trade -- DC needs to go to a doctor appointment today after school.  I will take him and you can have my next Tuesday evening instead.  Consult your lawyer, but if your exDH files then be prepared to come to court with your own receipts. [/quote]

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