Reply to Caught DD smoking, I can't do this anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You both need to get in therapy now.[/quote]

Oh give me a break. OP doesn’t need therapy. Anger is a normal emotion. Living in a box where your emotions are controlled at all times isn’t exactly normal, or even ideal.

The anger OP showed might be precisely what is needed. [/quote]

It's not.  I completely get why OP is angry and I certainly don't think she needs therapy.  But my mom reacted with anger and a lot of emotion and it's really not an effective way to manage a teenager's behavior.  (Not telling her where I was going with friends, saying I was going to a friend's house and doing something else, being late for curfew) It just made me defensive, pushback, and sneaky.   If OP tells her daughter she's going to disown her if she keeps smoking, nothing productive is going to come from it.  Her daughter isn't going to take her seriously, she's going to think OP is horrible for saying that, and then when she doesn't stop what's OP going to do?  Follow through and actually disown her 16 year old?  Or not and show her that she will make threats like that (which my mom did and it damaged our relationship).   [/quote]

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