Reply to Help me learn what to think during major tantrums

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Help me learn what to think during major tantrums"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I mostly think “ugh, this is so annoying, I wish she wouldn’t do this.” [/quote]

This is a simple response but actually a great one. Because you can see how this parent is not internalizing the child's behavior or mental state. This PP is acknowledging that the moment is hard -- "this is so annoying" -- and that this is a behavior her DD should stop, but there's not moralizing about how her DD must be a "bad kid" or she must be a "bad mom" for this to be happening. It's just matter of fact.

I also want to note that I think the comments about how the child must have ADHD or another SN to be unproductive on this particular thread. Not because it's impossible that's the case -- who knows, maybe. But because OP's issue is not that her child has meltdowns. It's that OP's response to meltdowns is unproductive and dysfunctional. The PP above also has a kid who has meltdowns. But the PP's response is just to acknowledge that it sucks and then move on. OP's response is to internalize the meltdown and view it as a verdict on her parenting or on her child's value as a person. Regardless of whether SNs exist, the PP's response is going to help a parent deal with the situation better than OP's response.

So then the problem is how to help OP stop with her dysfunctional thought process and adopt a more productive thought process like PP. That's something that has to happen internally for OP and is totally independent of whether her DD has SNs.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics