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Reply to "When do you fully step back?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why would you not give your opinion? I give my opinions to my parents. They are free to ignore them. They give me their opinions. I am free to ignore them as well. I don't get what the problem is. [/quote] The problem is how firmly I do it. I gave it, but now what?[/quote] Now nothing, unless you think there is a serious issue that she's not seeing. Which means that you need to be comfortable with that grey area where you're not sure if it's important enough to insist. If she's younger and generally naive, and the area is truly dangerous, then you insist (but never order). If she's a seasoned traveler, then she might know better than you. Or maybe the area looks dangerous, but isn't really. [b]My parents always used to insist when it came to safety, but with the passage of time, they've stopped.[/b] It's mostly due to their world shrinking: they feel less able to form an opinion in a world that has changed a lot; and they feel more comfortable than before that I'm going to pay attention to all those details. Your relationship with your kids will change over time, so the main thing is to be flexible. [/quote] This. OP, if you want to influence your daughter, make sure your advice is up to date. My parents were dead set against me living on 14th St because in their minds, it's still how it was after the riots of the 1970s. Don't be that person. Be factual.[/quote] I am very factual and not going off on old info. I actually thought at first it was ok because the neighborhood is changing a bit and does have some trendier places now. Based on google maps it looked okay to me. But then I dug deeper: I've looked at a lot of info and opinions (current) including by people who live in the neighborhood right now. Several women say they do not feel safe at all and do not go out at night, a couple that it's fine, of course the men say it's ok for the most part, there are people smoking crack and some petty theft but they don't bother you...This sort of thing. Tourists either say it's fine and convenient, or that they had a terrible experience, someone got mugged, several had things stolen, were afraid to get back to hotel late at night...So this does not sound good to me at all and reassuring. I have told all this to dd and she tells me she doesn't care and it'll be fine. [/quote]
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