Reply to Husband w/mental health issues, poor executive functioning

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like you're setting yourself up for disappointment and him up for failure. You know he has poor executive functioning but keep expecting him to just suddenly step up and do tasks like put together favors? You really thought that would lighten your load versus create the trash heap?

You know he has for years avoided solving problems but you expect him to just start doing it now?

Does your therapist ever talk to you about setting boundaries and how you can only control yourself? If he's going to be how he's going to be, you have to decide what to do with that. Don't parcel out tasks and expect him to suddenly change out of nowhere this time. Lighten your own load other ways.[/quote]

I am very aware that he struggles with executive functioning but instead of enabling him by doing all of these tasks for him and then being upset, I am clearly writing down at least some specific things that he can help with and communicating expectations.  The tasks are not big tasks, they are not major tasks involving organization or major planning....they are physical, direct tasks but he is failing to even do those.  There's no other good way to lighten the load beyond trying to hire someone to help with organization and regular cleaning and to help teach him some skills (if he is open to it).  It is all on me to think of everything and hire everyone and I'm exhausted. [/quote]

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