Reply to Christmas and Blended Families

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Good grief get him a gift certificate!  You do not want a solution, you seem to enjoy doing battle on this! Again, getting him a laptop is problematic because a.) his mother objects and b.) he plays games with it. She is the one who is going to have to deal with handling this since he apparently is there much more than with you and DH. Really, getting a teen stepson something the stepmother who has primary custody does not want is not cool.

There is nothing under the son besides a laptop and sheets, correct? Does he read? Listen to music? Watch movies? [/quote]

I'm not battling. I clarified two points: the cost of the laptop (since PPs thought it was extravagant) and the fact that I did not use the term bio mom which someone accused me of and used to bolster their opinion I was taking a "dig" at his mom. I also did not want a solution; I realize no one here knows my stepson's interest and didn't ask for gift suggestions from strangers. My original question was simply how OTHER blended families handle gifts at Christmas. As a stepparent, I realize we're all in this together and have to cooperate. Advice from other blended families for how they do things at Christmas in terms of who gets the kids what and how much say the other parents get was what I was looking for so that I could handle my frustration with this better.

To answer your last set of questions: he does not read, so we no longer buy books. He does listen to music, which is why we bought him an iPod and he gets iTunes gift cards for that. He watches movies and those are stocking stuffers. We are trying to think of a "main" gift to get him that his mother will not object to. That's it. [/quote]

I think the sports equipment and things are good suggestions. I also think that you'd have more credibility (even with his mother even if she doesn't admit it) if you didn't try to buy gifts which are pretty controversial/big anyway. There are many gifts between bedsheets and a laptop. Have you ever thought of making a list throughout the year of stuff he seemed interested in?

Also, if she wants to do the big gifts LET HER. He won't remember the gifts. He'll remember the tension and frustration and it will make him feel confused and unhappy. Getting along (even giving in on stuff like this) is your job as a parent. [/quote]

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