Reply to How did your parents tell you - you were adopted and when?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It should just be a part of conversation and not a focus.  Don't overdo it.  When kids are ready, they will ask more.[/quote]

Then I would have to bring it up. I stopped reading the books because then it would make them stand out[/quote]

[b]Kids will go through stages of interest with adoption.  Some kids will care far more than others.  If its not an issue in your home, just allow it to be normal/natural but not a big deal.  You are their mom.  Adoption is how your children joined your family.  It should not define them or your family.[/b][/quote]

+1,000,000 I would like to give you a box of awesome sauce! I think too often we turn it into a bigger deal than it actually is.

Another "always knew" poster. My mom used to say the word "adoption" to me in a super sweet tone when I was in the crib so I would always associate it with good things. I also had some books. Being adopted did turn out to be a problem for me but only because my father and mother divorced when I was a toddler and then he and his family decided that as an adopted child they had no further obligation to me. I struggled with that for a very long time. Thankfully, my mother's family reacted in the opposite way so I had a rock to cling too. It still made me very happy when there was another adoption in our family and I was no longer the only one.

Anyway, as a result of my experience I think it's very important for the whole family to be sending the same message to the children. So even though I totally agree that that message should be "no big deal," it won't work if some folks in the family are telegraphing that it is a big deal. As the parent, it's your job to ensure that everyone is on the same page with what you want communicated.[/quote]

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