Reply to DW doesn’t want my mother to move in with us.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]what space do you have?  why can't she live alone?  how old is she?  Would living with you be safe for her?  my grandmother moved in with us when she was diagnosed with dementia and then eventually moved to an assisted living. we were lucky that we found a nice assisted living set up. the nursing homes were frankly terrible and she lived with us another 2 years before we moved her.  Several years later, my parents were both too sick to live alone, but could manage most of the own care - but couldn't drive or do a lot of physical tasks.  So my siblings and I took turns living with them.  we were close enough distance wise  to make that work.  My point is all of this is you need to think realistically about what your mother's needs are.   Would adding house keeping or companion care help the situation?  I can't imagine not doing it.  You also need to think about the financial costs and work costs out with your siblings if you have any.  I'm not sure if everyone on here is horrible or just out of touch with reality.  [/quote]

This is where I fear my life was heading. With statins and blood pressure drugs, people's bodies are just living longer than their brains. Right when I finished caring for my children, my two sisters died unexpectedly, leaving me as the sole daughter to my elderly mother, who is physically quite well, but has severe dementia. I am worried she'll live to 100 this way and by the time I am free I will be in my 70s with no life left worth living. Before she died,  my older sister set my mom  up in  memory care in their hometown, fortunately, but now I have to drive hours to see her. There are times that she has gone a month without a visit because I just don't have time--working full-time and two kids in college. We just shouldn't be outliving our brains into our 90s. It's ruining life for our generation.[/quote]

+1
We keep prolonging life too long. 80 is a great age for a good long life. 10-15 years of retirement is plenty. [/quote]

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