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[quote=Anonymous]In my marriage things have generally worked,  because my husband isn’t a jerk and was also 38 when we met. He already owned a home that had to be clean, he had to feed himself, etc.

The truth is that he literally doesn’t cook other than bacon and eggs for breakfast, but he certainly understands food must be served. But from the day we married, he has always done the laundry. I literally never think about it other than on a rare occasion where I have to ask him to do it during the week because we will be packing for a trip, etc.

We also play to our strengths. I’m the master of conception and planning so he does much, much more of the execution. Also, since I’m filling out the forms, his name and number goes first on all the kid paperwork and he gets the calls before me. He knows he is the first call to pick up a kid from school, etc. I also group text for all things kid related. This is important because we have a kid with special needs who cannot communicate. Every communication about her includes him. Teachers, church, etc know to text us both.

Our one major crisis was when our special needs kid was about 8. She doesn’t sleep through the night. She is cognitively a baby so she sleeps like one. In the early years, I took more nights shifts because he needed more sleep than me. As I aged, I needed more sleep. He simply couldn’t understand that he had to start splitting this with me and thought it was ok to get up (unhappily) when I shoved him and told him to get up. I could not take it. I was pretty unhappy about it for probably a year. So, I told him I was going to figure out if it was cheaper for me to get a studio apartment or to stay in a hotel a few nights a week. I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t separating, I just needed sleep. And I started looking at studios online. He basically immediately started doing every other night. It has now been this was for about 5 years.[/quote]

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