Reply to Anyone's parent ask them to move out of the house after college? How did they say it?

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Reply to "Anyone's parent ask them to move out of the house after college? How did they say it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]H's father took him aside a month before he turned 18 and told him that he would be allowed to live at home to finish HS. After that, if he or most of his siblings wanted to come home for breaks or whatever, they needed to be working. Same man told his oldest daughter to pack her bags and be out of the house when she got pregnant senior year.

He wonders why his non-golden child kids aren't close to him.[/quote]

I mean there's this way of handling it, which is terrible.

But the way I thought of being expected to move out after college was that my loving parents had supported me, raised me, and paid for my college. Their financial obligations to me had been met. They had done a ton. After that it was on me to support myself, though there was definitely recourse in an emergency.

Maybe it was different because my parents raised me with the understanding that supporting myself was one of the goals of their parenting/my childhood.[/quote]
I think most people try to parent with that goal in mind, but [b]this idea of ACs moving out rapidly on their own is fairly new.[/b] Most ACs used to remain with their families until they were ready to marry or financially support themselves. In this economy and with the state of the world I think we will see more intergenerational living rather than less. Setting hard lines of when an AC should be out may not be so reasonable. It's not that you want them playing video games in the basement, but they could be doing everything "right" and not be in a position to move out.

I'm the PP you quoted above and while all of H and his siblings became self supporting (and "successful" save the DD who had her first child at 18), they are mostly very messed up people. Your parents raised you with love and expectations, one of which was independence at a certain age. I think when that becomes a sole focus it's pretty unhealthy. [/quote]

I think that the expectation to move out is normal and not that new (for us Gen X ers, at least). These days, it seems like more kids are returning home after college. I think this is a combination of more Asian immigrants (cultural norms are different), higher living expenses, more intolerance of certain living conditions (e.g., lots of roommates), and increased infantilization of our kids.[/quote]

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