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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PS I’ll add that when I installed the pencil sharpener, one of the kids says “now it feels like home.” It made me so happy and I felt like all the crap associated with the move would be worth it.

Meanwhile, DH is crazy aggressive about homework and accomplishments and very house-proud, but doesn’t put the work into supporting those things, so it made me really mad that he can’t see the link between pencil sharpener=settled kids, or even the ego boost of pencil sharpener=future academic success. [b]He was blind to anything but his own feelings about how he wants things to be.[/b][/quote]

He's self-absorbed and emotionally immature. I'm divorcing a man like that. It really wears you down, constantly having to bite your tongue (because what's the point when he is SO SURE he is right about everything) and choosing your battles oh so carefully, and then advocating for the tiny thing that you need with so much grace and gentleness so he can't latch onto one little thing to complain about.

My "pencil sharpener" example is when I put a wool runner on our stairs. The house is 100 years old and the stairs are smooth and slippery. The kids and I had slipped on them many times; I had bruised my butt more than once. Finally one day I went flying into the air and broke my wrist badly. So I said, enough, and I announced that we would be putting a runner on the stairs. I let him pick the pattern. Then one day he exploded, "You put a runner on the stairs EVEN THOUGH MY AESTHETIC PREFERENCE IS FOR NO CARPET." Never mind all the things he did to the house without consulting with me first. Never mind the legitimate need for it (because it didn't feel legitimate to him).[/quote]

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