Reply to Regret a decision about a move and can't stop ruminating, feeling anxious, waking up at night, etc.

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Reply to "Regret a decision about a move and can't stop ruminating, feeling anxious, waking up at night, etc."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reach out to them and see if they still offer you the job.[/quote]
lol, as an employer i wouldn't offer the job again as it shows indecisiveness and underlying other issues that as you can tell from OP's post will be an issue during their employment [/quote]

As an employer, I'd be happy to hire someone who took full responsibility for their decisionmaking and showed the ability to change their mind.

OP, don't whine about it, but explain that "circumstances have changed" and you'd be willing to relocate if the job is still available. If it's not, oh well, but at least you'll know. And if it not being available is a relief to you, that's also useful info. It may not be that you really want to move,  you just want an escape (not possible; that goes to your therapist).

You do have a therapist, right? Meds are great for short-term intervention (they save lives!), and you also need to address the structural reasons for your situation. [/quote]
Actually, no—I stand by what I said.

From an employer's perspective, this kind of indecision is a red flag. If someone can’t follow through on a big life choice they were excited about, what happens when they need to make tough calls at work? Imagine them sending an important email, making a staffing decision, or leading a project—then freezing, backtracking, or unraveling emotionally.

It’s not about lacking empathy, but about recognizing that emotional stability and decision-making matter. Employers need people who can handle pressure without falling apart.[/quote]

NP. I think personal life changing family decisions are quite distinct for many people compared to work decisions.  Perhaps not for you, but uprooting my child would definitely be a much harder decision than making any staffing decision or a leading a work project.  [/quote]

Gee NP above, tell us you don't hear from a lot of recruiters about desirable jobs without telling us you don't hear from a lot of recruiters about desirable jobs. It's a game. It's not entering a Duggar courtship that has to end in marriage. You do a few interviews while entertaining the idea of the move, the idea of the new company. And maybe it does all seem tempting and plausible. And then sometimes they offer, and ... you realize nope, you don't actually want to do it. The reality of the move or the reality of the new company sinks in. And so you say no.

She's allowed to take interviews to nose around and wonder, and then, yes, decide she actually can't make that big of a decision re: moving her kid. That IS a hard decision and it's clear she didn't make *that* part of the choice rashly. But for the employer it's a game too. They need someone who can say yes, not someone who needs to consult with a therapist for six months about kids' feelings before accepting a job offer. They're off to the next candidate. This is how grown up business jobs work. [/quote]

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