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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry OP. This is a hard one.

Does your wife work and contribute meaningfully to HH income?  What is she spending excessively on? (clothes, house, vacations, etc?)

Before leaping to divorce and breaking up your kids' home, what have you done to rein this in?[/quote]

She does work but I make the bulk of our income.

We have 3.5 year old twins. We both want what’s best for their future but my wife goes overboard.

Excessive spending

- Most expensive daycare 
- Most expensive preschool 
- An expensive I caved and bought 
- A new car 
- expensive activities for the kids 
- A tutor for the kids ( no joke)
- wasting hundreds each shopping trip 
- always purchases random crap she sees online

This is just the tip of the iceberg. She didn’t use to be this way. Motherhood has made her very competitive. [/quote]

OP, do you want to see your 3.5 YO twins grow up and be a part of their lives? Then cut the divorce talk. You have a problem and YOU need to step up to the plate. Why are you acting like a helpless child?

You know this is insane. You've got to cut her off. Come up with a monthly budget, one for the kids and one for her personal things. Work with her on this but you must enforce it. Cut up the credit cards if you have to.

They are YOUR KIDS TOO. Why are you allowing this??[/quote]

I 1000% want to be part of their lives. They’re my kids.

I’m throwing divorce out because we have been through this song and dance one too many times. We have had multiple talks at length. We set a budget and she is good for a while and then something comes up and she always veers off of it.

We have “ wallets” of money allocated for expenses. She always dips into our checking or savings. I’ve tried multiple ways and she won’t stop spending money.

I don’t want to cut her off like a child. I don’t want her to feel like she is financially controlled because that sounds super abusive.

We don’t have credit cards. It’s our money. She just spends so much on stupid things.

[/quote]

PP again. Well, then you have a problem and it sounds like your solution is to quit (on her and your kids) rather than man up and deal with it.

You "don't want to cut her off like a child." But she is behaving like one (and so are you, by the way) by refusing to acknowledge the plan you've both set up. Maybe she can't. Maybe she NEEDS for you to cut her off. Some people are that out of control on spending. She's like an alcoholic. She can't veer off, not even once.

She is "financially controlled" by the limits of her income. Unless you live in another world that the rest of us don't, we're all controlled by our financial means, or our debt. Take your pick.

And you, yes, you need to put an end to the foolish spending on your children.[/quote]

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