Reply to Any way to pull 5th grader from last 3 months of the school year and test to demonstrate knowledge?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I’m so sorry. I’m sure your son is miserable being trapped in a dynamic where everyone treats him with disdain, but he lacks control over his impulses and emotional regulation and feels powerless to change the situation. Medication is a great place to start. He needs therapy as well; it is best practice for all kids with ADHD, and essential for kids with flagging self esteem. Does he have a 504 or IEP? If not, send a written request to the school to start the process NOW so it will be in place [b]before[/b] he starts middle school. It takes some time. You can ask for suggestions for accommodations on the Kids with Disabilities and Special Needs board.

You absolutely MUST help your son improve his social skills and try to repair his relationships. For the other kids to have such a uniform response to your son and the teacher to show annoyance openly is a BIG deal. The longer you take to address this problem, the more damage will be done. Your son is still young and can bounce back from this, but the next few years are crucial.

It will be hard, but you need to have a very frank conversation with your ds’s teacher to find out the worst, most offensive things he’s done and what has upset the other kids the most. You’ve got to know exactly what has been going on if you’re going to address the issue with your son’s social skills. Perhaps you can even get feedback from the guidance counselor by asking her/him to talk with the class when your son isn’t present.

I am not saying this is the case with your son, but in the case of the boy everyone hated in my dd’s 5th grade class, the boy constantly made racist, xenophobic, misogynistic comments. He also disparaged kids with obvious special needs. He offended everyone on a regular basis. The teacher developed discipline fatigue because if he had corrected everything the kid did, he’d never have been able to get through a single class lesson. Out of necessity, the teacher had to let some things slide. The more the other kids saw the boy get away with things they’d get in trouble for, the more they hated him. They couldn’t stand his getting away with outrageously insulting behavior. Things came to a head after he made a racially based threatening comment to another student. The class felt like no one took them seriously about how upsetting and stressful the boy made school for everyone else, and so a few kids started sharing a Google doc called “Why We Hate Larlo,” and encouraging others to add to it. As you can imagine, this got the administrators involved when it was discovered.

Going into hiding for 3 months would temporarily make your son’s life more pleasant, but it would also cement in the other kids’ minds how much better it was not to have him in their class. He’s in over his head and needs your help.[/quote]

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