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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve been married to the love of my life going on 3 years. We have been together for almost 6. I had a girls trip and I was told I’m a “ doormat” by some of them for how much I do for my husband. They made chiding jokes about it. I was taken aback by the comment and have been reflecting ever since. I know their comments shouldn’t hold weight but they do. I don’t want to change a thing because I adore my husband and our system works but I question if I really am a doormat.[/quote]

Well, I think they're being unkind. But it might be that they're really unimpressed by your husband's inability to cope with baby care alone. It's not that hard to take care of a baby and to problem-solve and think for himself, even though you do most of the baby care when you are present. It makes him seem a bit incompetent and a bit lacking in initiative. You saying you adore him doesn't change that.

I think they're trying to strongly suggest to you that this dynamic will grow less acceptable to you, when marriage and parenting is no longer a novelty and especially if you have a second child to deal with. And I think that it's a good point and you should strongly consider it. Not because you are or are not a doormat, but because you need to take the long view and establish norms in your marriage that will serve your family well in the long term.[/quote]

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