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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]sort of related question but also hadn't thought of this either. For a normal/middle class family, when a parent dies, does that JUST go to their actual child and not the SIL/DIL? Or, absent the legal mechanisms or trusts, it ultimately goes to both of them? [/quote]

I have UMC parents and when they pass, the assets will be split between me and my sibling, not our spouses. It is then our choice whether to keep those assets separate or commingle with our marital property. The risk of course is that if there is divorce and/or additional non-biological grandkids, family assets could benefit unintended (and potentially homewrecking) third parties, but my parents are leaving that risk for their kids to handle as they see fit.

I know other friends whose UMC parents were more prescriptive and put all assets in trust so they could not be freely sold to commingle for SIL/DIL's benefit. Some even include provisions that say if the family lives in an inherited family home or home purchased with trust assets, the SIL/DIL has to set aside $X per month in a separate trust or account solely for the benefit of the biological spouse/grand-kids so they are not "freeloading" from the family asset...

Needless to say some of these family money situations have created tensions in marriages that otherwise may not exist. 
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