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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I realize that most people that cheat have a serious mental illness that they’re refusing to treat.

I tried my hardest to get my now ex help and I stayed for a very, very, very long time too long.

Of course they continued to cheat, and I finally said, move to the guest room.

It was over the next year that I realized my spouse had PTSD, they finally got the treatment they needed.

Too much water under the bridge, I divorced, but we are very close and they did do all the work to become a better person. They are a good friend to me and they are a good parent, but I cannot be married to them.

I have a couple good friends that cheated as well and they all just have untreated mental illnesses.[/quote]

You need to stop this with the mental illness. It’s a gross and preposterous statement. I’m truly sorry you got cheated on. But you yourself stayed for much too long, that was your choice. People make choices and decisions all the time that don’t stem from mental illness just because you or society don’t like those choices. [/quote]

NP. Genuine question: do you really think youre contributing constructively to this thread? [/quote]

I do. It invites the PP to examine their assumptions about mental illness and acknowledge that she had a choice in the matter, and chose to keep herself tethered to this man for much too long. What’s the definition of crazy, again? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. [/quote]

She said her spouse was a good parent, which means they have kids.  Choosing to stay with a known cheater because you have kids is a nuanced, complicated decision that you can't judge as "mental illness" as an outsider.  She finally left, and let's wish her the best going forward. [/quote]

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