Reply to Parents of small children - how are you managing RTO?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I really want to know how other parents are managing RTO without a village.

I quit a job that paid $112K in the state government because of RTO, and we had no support network - no grandparents, friends, or family who could help with pick-up/drop-off or sick days.

My husband is gone from 4AM - 4PM in a secure, union job. I am solely responsible for school drop-off, pickup, and sick days. I was managing a full-time, supervisory position in the government, which was becoming incredibly challenging. When I looked at our finances, I could have enrolled our son in a before/after school care program or hired a nanny, which would cost us roughly $2000/month. This would mean he is at school from 7 AM - 4PM to allow for commute times. My son struggled to adjust to a full-time Kindergarten schedule from 8:30 - 3 PM, and his teacher suggested half days. (He is in an affordable private school)

My manager wanted me to come into the office for 2 days/week. This would mean I leave the house at 6:45 AM to get to work on time by 7:45 for an 8AM start. I was in a supervisory role that required me to train my staff. But we couldn't leave the office once we were there. So that meant I was there for 2 days/week, with my butt in a seat, and then had to compress my staff's training schedule to 3 other days/week. I had five staff in training who all needed extensive support.

So, I quit. I took a significant pay cut and am now making $30/hr in the private sector. I now have fewer retirement contributions but plan to return to a full-time, salaried base position when my son is old enough to stay home alone for a few hours. However, my office is home-based, and I have 2-3 hours of work meetings with clients in the field. I also make my own schedule and work 30 hours/week. My take-home pay is significantly less, but my son is happy to have me drop him off, and I can always be there for sick days. Before, I was scrambling to get everything done.

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Growing up I had a single mom who worked every day in the office.  My dad died right before I was born.  I had a sibling.  You figure it out.

What were you doing before you had to go in 2 days?  You can't give 100% to your work and 100% to your kid.  When you're working you should have full time child care. Everyone understands occasional flexibility, but it sounds like people expected to be able to watch their kid from either 3PM onward or from the half day it ended?  How is that fair or right to taxpayers?

You put your kid in before/aftercare.  If you can't afford private school then send your kid to public.  Do what my mom did and hire a babysitter or a SAHP/neighbor.  My first babysitter was a high schooler who could walk from the high school to my house or was dropped off by a friend.  She was great and taught me about homework and helped me with mine.  She ended up getting a PhD in the sciences and is very well-known in her profession.  Seeing that passion from someone younger was great for a young mind.  After she graduated my mom hired a neighbor who only worked PT and was a SAHP mostly.  It was wonderful there too.  My mom also did not use any kind of assistance (no SNAP, etc) and said she was able bodied to work so why shouldn't she?

Also, your spouse doesn't have any sick leave or PTO?  Can't they use that time if your kid is sick occasionally?

When I was in high school I babysat weekdays after school for two working parents.  The kids took the bus and I got there  before the bus arrived.  I thought it was fun, helped them with homework and did my own homework.  I was asked to make the kids dinner every night, but asked to make the parents meal 2 nights a week which I did.  I also did laundry and light cleaning.  I lived close, so it was easy for everyone.

Good luck![/quote]

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