Reply to Anyone else at the “is this it?” stage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Read “how not to hate your husband after you have kids.”   Great book.

Delegate one thing to him entirely and don’t interfere/rescue.  Car maintenance doesn’t count - something about the kids.  [/quote]

OP. That’s not the issue. The issue is more I want the people in my life to care enough to delegate things themselves, rather than wait for me to assign tasks. Sort of the “I want you to WANT to do the dishes” thing.

The kids I understand because they’re kids, but also, every day when I try to get them up and out of the house to go do fun things and they just throw a fit the entire time….H just wanting to sit at home in a dirty house all zoned out on screens…just makes me wonder what the point of it all was. [/quote]

That way lies madness. For your own sanity, please realize that there is nothing you can do to cause others to share your priorities. I shower daily. DDs shower 2-3x per week at best. No amount of talking has gotten them to see things my way. DH is willing to spend unlimited time and energy socializing away from home with friends, but a regular sex is not an option. Nor is not trashing personal space that guests will never see or exercising. It's how he is.  I will never be more than 5 minutes early and am usually 5 minutes late. I will never be thrifty when it comes to clothing or perfume. DH cannot change this. It's how I am. Accepting each other is the only way to stay together. [/quote]

OP. I get that, I think my issue is I’m contemplating if I can accept it. The thought of spending the rest of my life this way is so depressing.

The kids are fine. I understand they’re kids, and there is the light at the end of the tunnel of when they get older.

But with H, I just don’t know. He wants to do many of the same things I do, like travel and date nights and sex, but ultimately he can’t put forth the effort to either plan them or earn the money for them. I know retirement for him will just be puttering around the garage all day and I just can’t. [/quote]

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