Reply to Kids babysitter - am I wrong for being uncomfortable?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She’s not respecting the boundaries that you clearly expressed about certain things like the dog off leash. Have you clearly expressed a boundary about not wanting her to take the children to her parents house? If so, that would be a dealbreaker for me.
I assume you have control over the sleepovers or not? And I would simply say no to those given your daughter’s hesitation generally.

And, you know your daughter, but if she’s uncomfortable, and it’s something about the vibe of the caregiver[b], it could be that she feels the babysitter “babies” her too much. Or it could be other interpersonal things that make her uncomfortable.[/b] I’m not gonna say let her go only because of what your daughter said, but I would definitely heed it and give it some thought.

I’m not sure how much you’ve 100% set boundaries and it’s up to you as to how you want to handle that.

But if you’re needing some validation, if this isn’t OK, I 1000% give you that validation!!

I get the household disruption and I’ve been there And it’s tough. But you really have to trust your instincts about how to best care for your children and your family. 
[/quote]

OP here. It's definitely interpersonal things.  physical boundaries have not been crossed, which I never had a gut feeling that they had. She's mentioned that she's told the daughter that she doesn't like they school they go to, and made a big deal when my 10 year old got her first period and it made her uncomfortable.

The sitter treats her other babysitting families the same way and her nieces and nephews and she's one of those people who really loved children and her daughter is an adult now. She was always a single mom and has also been a foster parent here and there. She's always spoiled our kids and asked to come to sporting events, school plays, etc but I probably wouldn't have invited otherwise. Just now starting to feel like its a lot and maybe my kids need space[/quote]

She sounds like an amazing sitter and you’re lucky to have her! [/quote]

Not OP but I had a sitter who sounds very similar. In some ways, yes, it’s amazing to have a sitter who loves your kids and treats them like family. But it can be VERY difficult as well. I ultimately had to step away from the relationship with our sitter and am much happier with strictly transactional occasional sitters. [/quote]

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