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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "My H (we are separated) is endangering our daughter"
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[quote=Anonymous]You need to change the way you think about "child endangerment" in the context of co-parenting. It's not "this is a poor choice that I wouldn't make and is objectively not ideal and you shouldn't do it. Someone could maybe get hurt if things went wrong." It's "if I were dead/completely out of the picture, and he did this thing, he could go to jail (yes, child endangerment is a crime) or CPS should take this child away and put them in foster care." No one is getting a CPS call for driving with a child in the car when they are tired. Or every working parent of child under 6 months old would be on CPS's radar. That's not how it works. I know it sucks, but you need to accept that your judgement is not relevant when it comes to how your husband parents on his time. He gets to make those choices (again, unless they cross the actual line into child endangerment, see above). Butt. Out. You cannot keep him from his child because he's making decisions you would not make. Also - this "DD is afraid and does not want to stand up to him, even though she agreed this morning that it would be smart for both of them to sleep in my house" tells me that you're NOT handling this well with your daughter. You should NEVER have mentioned your fear to her. You are pushing grown-up fears on a CHILD and it is NOT in their best interest. While I tend to agree with you that driving that long that tired with a child is a bad idea, what you're doing in oversharing with your daughter, telling her you don't trust her father's judgment, and creating a feeling that the adults in her life don't keep her safe is WORSE. Way worse. Shape up. You might want to consider some co-parenting sessions with a trained therapist to get better at working with your husband without overstepping and without involving your daughter. [/quote]
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