Reply to Complete Loss of Custody- Mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having worked in family law there are all kinds of reasons women can lose custody. A lot of times they have vindctive ex husbands who will spend any amount of money to punish their ex wife for leaving them. [b]Courts are biased against women[/b], most judges/lawyers/police officers are male.

On the other hand, sure, sometimes there are bad moms who did bad things. It's really hard to judge just from the loss of custody alone. [/quote]

Yeeeaaahhhh, no. Pretty much every single dad I know had an uphill battle with custody. It was just assumed the mom would get them.[/quote]
Here's how mine went and it's not an anecdote. My ex- DH attacked me and we both got locked up. We didn't even live together at that moment. Judge was a male and I lost custody to DH after I had said that he was a drug dealer and/or judge believed his story of me attacking him. Not sure which one. I was allowed to see my kid whenever ex felt like it. He called me if I didn't bring the kid fast enough and he called me if I didn't come to get the kid. I was also sent to parenting class. Ex called and yelled at me for not coming to get the kid as I sit in that class. He did not believe I was in it even though judge said it out loud. See what drugs do to memory.
Few months later, we had a court date again. I told the female judge that he was a drug dealer and I want my kid away from him. She took the kid from him, and he wasn't even allowed to see the kid 'til further notice'.
The African American female judge absolutely believed that the white man sold drugs and got away with it because he was white.
Neither judge asked for any proof. They both went with their feelings with 3 minutes of us standing there.
At final order, we ended up sharing the kid. I think I did say that he sold drugs to the third judge, but courts found it more important for the father to be around. Must be special for a dad to stick around in DC.
We went to court so many times as we tried to navigate divorce, custody and DV. Not once did it feel like I should be lucky to be a female. If any, the male judge wanted to punish me with the parenting class. Why not send ex with me? I was supposed to be in my college class at the same time.
Courts don't care about evidence. They want to hear bare minimum and push people through the system.
Our lives were complicated because we got caught up in it all. We learned out lesson. He never attacked me again, and I haven't reported him for not paying the minimum child support required for a decade+ or child's health insurance.[/quote]

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