Reply to husband and I handle disagreements differently. Need serious advice

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's a therapist who just wrote a book who talks about this. Her name is Jill Turecki or something like that. There is nothing wrong with you for not being able to handle what is essentially abandonment. It would be extremely hard for me to handle that sort of treatment, and I think that objectively, it's unhealthy and destructive behavior by him. However, you're now married to him and it's not like you can just decide to date someone else. That ship sailed. So, maybe the goal should be for you to see his behavior for what it is: his inability to be [b]vulnerable[/b] with you about a very important family issue. It doesn't seem like he is motivated by a desire to contradict you capriciously, or to intentionally cause conflict, based on what you've shared. Maybe you could do a self-intervention? Instead of experiencing his silent treatment as an act of aggression, you could try to see it as a child protecting himself from pain. That might change the whole dynamic?[/quote]

The word "vulnerable" has lost all meaning--I guess it now means forming a mind meld and taking on the emotion of the person who demands "be vulnerable! Share my feelings!". But actually her husband is sharing is thoughts and preferences fully, they just are not the ones she wants.[/quote]

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