Reply to DS Dating Someone with a Small Child

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "DS Dating Someone with a Small Child"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP---I totally get where you are coming from.  Hot mess GF may well be looking at your DC as a meal ticket and way out from under her parents' roof.   Couple of things:

1) Do you have a daughter, niece, sister, etc.---some other woman in your DS' life whom he respects and listens to who is not his mom?  When my 24 DS started down this road and wanted to date a woman with a child, his sister read him the riot act and told him that he shouldn't become a woman's meal ticket and get entrapped in a pregnancy situation.
He listened to her whereas he would have been angry with me.

2) Don't couch any concerns re the GF.  The ONLY concern I would express is to point out to your DS that he needs to do the right thing by the child, and the right thing is to slow walk the relationship.  The child already has chaos if there is drama with the biodad.  Little kids get bonded and if the relationship flounders they will feel abandoned again.  This isn't about liking or not liking the GF, it is about recognizing that unlike it being just two 20 somethings dating there is a little person in the mix and their dating actions could have a huge impact on a child.

With all that said, I have a friend from college who met and married a woman with a young child in his 20s and they have gone on to have a long and happy marriage and several kids.  My friend---who was kind of a drunk frat boy---really stepped up maturity wise.  But in that case the GF was already taking steps to secure her future vis a vis education, independent living. 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics