Reply to Staying together with an open marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would very intentionally and openly redefine the marriage and let him know that I’m staying for the sake of finances and stability, but I am no longer here to love or support him as a wife.  I will be seeing other people, feel free to do the same (as though he isn’t already). [/quote]

Thank you - this is exactly what I've been thinking. For now, I feel like it's the only solution. Yes, I will have resentment, but I've had it for years and have learned how to deal and compartmentalize. Probably not the healthiest approach, but it works for me. [/quote]

I won't suggest you see an individual therapist because I think you've gotten the validation you wanted to find here, and will resist the idea that compartmentalizing and being resigned to resentment and profound disrespect are incredibly toxic. But hey, maybe Im wrong and you'll see a therapist who isn't just going to nod and tell you this is all a great idea.

You are already IN what you choose to call an "open marriage," OP, and what others would call serial infidelity on one side, and a paralyzed acceptance on the other. You're here to find approval for letting this continue. Nowhere do you express that YOU desire lovers, attention, etc. In fact you say you love your DH. He no longer loves you, if he ever truly did, becuase love includes respect and he has none for you, the marriage or--believe me--the children, either.

I know this all sounds harsh toward you but it really isn't meant to be. It would be good if you could at least admit, though, that you are not changing a thing, you're just renaming the status quo in your life so you can find some more accpetable or cooler way to frame being lied to and cheated on.[/quote]

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