Reply to Teen refuses to talk about schedule and then yells when no one can drive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Idk about other kids but my DD has sports, including school sports where the coaches communicate changes with the kids directly and don't tell the parents, friend hangouts, volunteering and other school activities that are scheduled directly through the kids like stage crew. How do you know all these things for your kid? We are at a regular public.[/quote]

[b]This is why it’s totally normal and expected that kids should be able to deal with their own schedule no later than high school.[/b] When I was in HS, the school didn’t tell parents about sports or play schedule. Kids scheduled their own hang outs with friends. How did you work it with your parents?[/quote]
Mostly agree.

I think HSers definitely should be in charge of their schedule and the things [i][b]they want[/b][/i] to do. Depending on how much you made or let them handle things in MS, 9th graders might need a little guidance during the first part of the year, especially for the things you pay for, but by Winter Break, they should be on top of it. Doc/med/therapy appointments get made together when leaving a prior appointment and we make DC put them on our calendar.

HS is very different. They will know their schedule (different days/blocks) better than you and, more importantly, they or their friends will be able to drive (at some point). As a parent, you shouldn't be involved other than establishing the safety boundaries - like no more than 'x' number of kids (as permitted by law) and being aware of the general trustworthiness of the other driver/passengers.

Another PP mentioned getting a family calendar (paper or electronic) and letting that guide everyone. Both have their pros and cons and we finally took the shared/electronic version plunge about two years ago. It took us several months to really get the hang of it and now we all know to consult it before agreeing to, well, most everything.

Don't accept the yelling. That's just not appropriate and gets from us a big, fat 'NO' for this time [i]and[/i] next. And they need to learn personal responsibility and that you catch more flies with honey. Now is the time to teach them that if you haven't already; it's not too late.

Good luck and stay strong![/quote]

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