Reply to Elderly people in Japan are choosing prison to avoid loneliness

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Elderly people in Japan are choosing prison to avoid loneliness "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't get it - why would you not join a church, see a neighbor, volunteer somewhere, etc. etc. ?
 
I think a lot of elderly in the US are lonely without realizing it. They don't take those actions because they don't recognize their loneliness.  But if you recognize it enough to decide you'd rather be in prison, and then take steps to make that happen ... there's no reason you couldn't use that energy to join a book club.[/quote]

Your point about people not recognizing their loneliness and therefore not being proactive is a good one. I don't know Japanese culture enough to understand why this would make sense to people. Perhaps, as a PP said, prisons are very nice there and it solves multiple problems at once -- loneliness, housing, not wanting to cook for themselves, etc.

[b]I also think that some of the things you suggest just don't work for people all the time. Sometimes churches are clique-y in a way that is actually more alienating (sadly). Same with volunteer orgs. A book club might not be enough if someone is struggling to fill their days and just has no one. These options only work if the people there are welcoming and interested in reciprocal friendship in a way that fills that need of regular companionship -- if going to church and attending church events doesn't mean standing in the corner feeling uncomfortable, if the volunteering isn't just a bunch of kids in their 20s who only interact with each other, and so on.[/b]

Bingo.  
Most of us who are lonely are so because we struggle with making connections with others.  Simply saying go volunteer or join a church doesn't help because often it doesn't lead to any real meaningful relationships.  
The type of people who can make friends through church or volunteering typically aren't lonely to begin with.

Also a lot of these things are less social than they were pre-Covid. My MIL is a regular churchgoer for instance, but she says fully half their congregation just watches services online these days, which means far fewer people showing up to post-service events too. Volunteer organizations that used to sponsor socials and facilitate people meeting each other may have stopped doing that during Covid and it's less of a priority now.[/quote][/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics