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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Will it still be cute or ok in 5 years? If not you should fix it. [/quote]
Myself and another poster explained that the stim could very well fade. It's not something to 'fix'. He isn't broken.[/quote]

Yeah it is something to fix. Fix doesn’t mean never allowing it. It does mean establishing places it’s appropriate and not appropriate. Like it’s ok in your bedroom or in the bathroom or at recess but not at school during class. You can also shape the behavior to one that’s  less disruptive/distracting/more socially acceptable. It’s just a fact that there’s no better way to make your kid the social outcast than flapping around other NT kids. A person saying quiet hands understands that’s just life. If they said it 24/7 that would be an issue, if they’re saying it in a social context where it’s preventing the child from interacting and building social skills then you should be thankful they’re willing to address things that are difficult. [/quote]

This is a FOUR year old. The amount of effort needed to extinguish all stims in a kid that age would be totally disproportionate, wasted, and cruel. Nobody is saying and older kid shouldn’t be taught or that dangerous or loud stims be addressed. [/quote]

Nobody said anything about extinguishing all “stims”, that’s just not a thing. Also anything dangerous should always take priority. Assuming disruptive/“annoying” but non-harmful behavior, it’s still MUCH easier to address at age 4 vs an older kid.

Think about it this way- the kid flaps an hour a day in multiple settings and you allow it until they start middle school. Now it’s no longer socially appropriate and little Johnny is getting teased about it and you want to fix it.

Well that’s about 8 more years of reinforcement history you’re now up against at age 12 vs age 4. I’d just tell you good luck I can’t help you, you should’ve addressed it when they were younger. Or if you’re lucky enough I do help you I’m going to tell you pick one setting because total elimination is almost impossible at that age with that learning history.

You are doing the child a huge disservice if you knowingly do absolutely nothing at age 4 and just wait until they are older. Calling it cruel, disproportionate, and absurd is literally absurd. And yes, it requires a LOT of effort, but still easier and less effortful at 4 than 14. [/quote]

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