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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, my situation is not identical to yours, but similar. I know what it’s like to be expected to care for everyone, always be Doris Day, and never ask for anything for yourself. It’s painful to be the unappreciated caregiver, and it’s even more complicated when you’ve been the victim of emotional incest. Add in problematic people never called to account and it’s one more twist of the knife.

What has helped me is thinking about what I am willing to do without expectation, having firm boundaries, and investing in relationships that are healthy.

Your family will probably not change, but you can change your contributions and reactions. They will push back on your boundaries and they may end up pulling away. Sometimes boundaries wake people up and they make some positive changes, but don’t expect it.

TLDR Put more energy in healthy relationships and create strong boundaries about what you will do for people that don’t treat you decently m[/quote]

Thank you, it makes perfect sense. Everything has gone haywire since my dad's death, so it's time to reestablish. I'm sorry you're in a similar situation. It does help knowing that I'm not the only one. [/quote]

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