Reply to SAHM friend divorcing against her will

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]
She had one attorney tell her that she can get the prenup thrown out.

Another told her she won’t get alimony and she’ll be responsible for her daughter’s expenses.

So she is getting a lot of conflicting information.

My question is: Is it unwise to choose an attorney that over promises? Can that drag out the divorce and make it more expensive? If you’ve gone through this, how would you advise her?
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She should not choose on promised outcomes. Promising outcomes is a red flag. She should go with an attorney who makes her feel comfortable, who thoroughly explains the basis for his asserts and the various factors that will be explored by the courts.

From what you wrote her, I like the first attorney better, because he said the prenup "can" get thrown out. He's right. It can. Doesn't mean it will be, but it's possible.

I don't like that the second attorney is making categorical statements like "won't" get alimony or "will" have to pay for DD's expenses. Those statements seem extreme and unlikely.

However, I recognize that the attorneys relayed information to your friend, who relayed it to you, who is summarizing it for a message board, so it may not accurate reflect what was said.

So, I would look at what exactly they said.

I would expect the first attorney asked questions about whether the prenup was signed under duress, whether the bride had it reviewed by an attorney, whether that attorney was affiliated with the groom's attorney, and who paid for her attorney. I would expect him to have asked if the prenup just says she gets nothing, or if it had a structure where the amount she gets depends on the length of marriage or other factors. If he asked those questions and took that into account and explained what state law says and the reasons he believes it can be thrown out, I would be satisfied, but I would also expect that he explained what happens if it isn't thrown out and what the default expectations would be for a marital settlement.

For the second attorney, I would have expected him to explain why he does not believe she would get alimony. Is it because that's what it says in the prenup or is it because the state does not mandate it or some other reason. And what type of lump sum settlement or division of assets does he anticipate, if there is no alimony? I would want to know what "daughter's expenses" means. Is he saying she won't get child support because the ex-husband will get 50/50 or full custody? Is he saying that she will get child support, but that it will not cover additional funds for optional expenses like dance lessons? Or does he mean private school tuition (which in my state, a parent can be mandated to pay)? Again, would want to pay attention to the questions he's asking, how he explains, what the contingencies are if it does not go that way.

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