Reply to S/o: worst meal to bring a friend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When we had a new baby someone brought us raw salmon and some sort of side ingredients (this was a while ago and I wasn't really sleeping, so my memory on the details is fuzzy but maybe a bagged salad?) and said "Enjoy cooking!" Thankfully DH is a great cook and he prepared the meal, but he was irked.[/quote]
One time my MIL’s friend and friend’s dd and 3 year old granddaughter came to see our infant twins. Not only did they not bring us anything, but the 3 year old was hungry, so they asked for a snack. They let’s her wander around our house while she ate a granola bar, dropping crumbs everywhere. I was dumbfounded.[/quote]

You’re mad that a 3 year old got hungry at your house? [/quote]
And that they didn’t bring a gift. PP is a peach![/quote]

I'm not that PP but how is it in any way controversial that you don't visit a new mom (of twins!) and show up empty-handed or worse, make more work for her. [/quote]

DP and I completely agree and yet a lot of people do this, it's insane. Either stay away altogether (send congrats by text or a card) or show up but bring something. Anything. Even if the mom doesn't eat it, her spouse or visiting family might and then that's one less meal to be prepared for someone. Or if you don't want to bring food, bring a gift. It doesn't even have to be material! I sometimes offer to walk people's dogs when they bring home a new baby (if I know the dog). Or will offer to watch older kids. I had one very close friend who I told, "if at any point in that first month you look at the kitchen or the floors and wish someone would come clean them for you, text me and I will swing by after work and clean them for you." And I did! And I made her tea.

New moms *need* to be cared for and we live in a weird, effed up culture where not everyone gets this. A lot of moms are thankfully cared for by spouses and family but some don't even get that! And really it should be more than that, it should be communal. [/quote]

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