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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a one year old and in my head I always thought I would have 2 children but the thought of having another fills me with dread.  I just don't know how other people do it.  My baby is generally pretty easy, although she has her moments.  I just have not enjoyed parenting like I thought I would.  I love my baby but the newborn stage was just horrible. I hated it.  Breastfeeding was the worst even though it came easily to me.  Each stage has been better and better past 6 months, and I definitely enjoy the toddler period more than the baby period.  I actually loved every second of being pregnant and I would be fine with giving birth again, but the thought of doing this first year again, this time with another child's needs to attend to, just seems horrible.

I feel like I'm a good mother and my baby is well taken care of and happy, but I feel like such a failure that I don't think I could handle more.  This is especially true because I have an easy life, my husband helps out a lot, money isn't a concern, and we both have very flexible jobs.  I just feel like parenting is so all consuming that I don't have anything left.  My husband is much more open to the idea of having just one child than I am. He thinks it's best to not even think about having a second until our baby turns two, and I agree with him, but I've become obsessed with trying to figure out how other people make it work.  I also feel stressed about time since I am in my late 30s.  I had an easy time conceiving at 37 but obviously I don't know if that will still be the case later.  Lately on my social media feeds I've been seeing pictures of women with 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 kids with the caption saying "this is what peak female performance looks like."  It is obviously propaganda and from my own observation of family members with tons of kids I know those women aren't happy all of the time and a lot of the kids are miserable as well but I still feel so shitty for only feeling like I can handle one. I know, I know, get off social media and I block those posts when I see them but the thoughts still creep in.

Anyway, has anyone else felt the same and ending up having a second?  How did that go?  Are you happy with your decision? [/quote]

I could have written this post.

The first year of my first child’s life was very tough. He wasn’t a hard baby and breastfeeding sucked, but it came easy. I hated the newborn phase and didnt want to go through it again.

I waited another year and my desire to have another baby overwhelmed my dread of the newborn/infant phase and I had another. It was so much better the second time around. I felt much more confident in everything I did.

I had an oops third and again I worried about the newborn/infant phase and I just really enjoyed it that time.

Every kid is different and you are different with each kid because you keep growing and learning.

I’m not saying you should have another kid, just that you never know how the next one is going to go. [/quote]

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