Reply to How to handle when teen DD makes snippy comments out of the blue?

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[quote=Anonymous]I struggle with this, too, OP.

I disagree with the idea of having the other parent say something. Why in the world?

I think the best thing -- and trust me when I admit that this is easier said than done -- is to behave like you take it seriously but not take it seriously deep down. Like to respond EVERY SINGLE TIME with a serious but not emotional "Not an appropriate way to talk to me" and some version of "please apologize and rephrase." Usually the kid is shocked like he/she absolutely did not realize the tone.

I try to avoid the "why?" questions because there is no good answer to that. It's is like we are begging them to say "because I am a jerk" ... which yes, but that isn't the point or "because I hate you" which of course they don't.

I don't like the ignoring or very mild response. Yes, it is developmentally totally appropriate but it isn't socially appropriate. Also, I have to recognize my own limitations. If I let it go, I build up anger and resentment and then end up lashing out. So, it is better for me to have a plan and never let it go.

Best of luck, OP. I was endlessly patient when they were toddlers but find the teen years very challenging!
 
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