Reply to AuDHD/gifted 9-yr old behavior escalating

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the PP who wrote a lot previously and you responded to. He sounds a lot like my kid actually! We went through a very rough patch around this age, and the help we got and changes we made and overall maturity of him has helped (not saying it's perfect now).

The point about control hit me a lot. I suspect the "funk" he gets into for periods is when he feels out of control for one reason or another. Lack of sleep with the electronics probably isn't helping. Again, lock them up. It's annoying but necessary. It also worked well for us to set time limits so they just turn off access - easier than enforcing by taking the away, and our kid responds better to it just stopping for him.

Can you find some ways to help him get back to sense of healthy control, where he can feel safe but not control others in an unhealthy way? I'm not sure what that looks like for you, but it might be things like choices, routines, rewards, praise.

Is the therapist helpful? If so, meet more if needed - maybe for support to help you with parenting. I like the idea of you all meeting. I'm sure your kid feels the tension between his parents. Smart kids like this can take advantage of that while also increasingly feeling out of control even as they do.[/quote]

Thank you!! I think his therapist is somewhat helpful.  I am going to explore getting a big lockbox and literally locking up the electronics during the week.  I am looking into seeing how my husband can get looped more into therapy and receive more direction and support about how to support our child beyond hearing it from me (he is deeply inconsistent, leans towards permissive, and honestly often lacks a lot of insight about why it is important to do x, y, or z).  If I took over our full family routine and the childcare 100% instead of attempting to split it as much as I can despite still doing most of it still myself, I think my son would do better but I would run myself so thin that it's not sustainable.  The best option is to support my husband in developing better parenting skills to support our child. It's exhausting. [/quote]

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