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[quote=Anonymous]Totally ok to feel your feelings. You want her to have positive social relationships and that’s totally understandable. But she’s also still very young and has a long time to find her people and experience great friendships. Worry less about that and more about fostering her sense of value and self esteem. You have to see her best qualities and be that cheerleader another pp mentioned. Her being “mean” is definitely a manifestation of her anxiety and a sign that continued work is needed.

A kid like this needs lots of love and understanding. It is very hard to be under constant attack internally from your anxious thoughts. Provide as much emotional safety and stability as you can, so she can hopefully move out of fight or flight and spread her wings a bit.

I had adhd and anxiety as a kid and part of the reason I think I’m doing so great now is, despite my challenges I always felt like my parents saw the real me and loved me. It makes all the difference in the world during the hard times. I look back and I can tell they were falling apart from the stress sometimes. It’s not easy for the parent. So have some grace for yourself. You will not get it right every single day and you don’t need to either. Consistency over time (not perfection) is what’s needed.[/quote]

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