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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wonder if he did something inappropriate that OP is unaware of. Maybe he doesn't realize it was inappropriate. Does he tend to stare at women? Does he go off his best behavior when OP isn't right with him? Here's an example, OP. In my teen years I had a similar awkward family member who paid too much attention to me. He didn't mean any harm but it was awkward for me, because teenagers are sensitive and awkward. One day he sat beside me on the couch and asked me what fantasy I liked. Now, in retrospect, he meant am I into Lord of the Rings, am I more of a sci-fi person like Dune or whatever-- but I thought he meant like sexual fantasies. Because of his staring at me and because of his tendency to say inappropriate things, and also because of my youth and inexperience and the caution of a teen girl around older males. So I got up and walked away and I'm sure I hurt his feelings, but that's how something can happen without him actually doing anything bad. See?[/quote] Knowing he had a disability, you overreacted and wrongly judged him. You were a teen, but now you’re a good woman and you’re still blaming him. OP, unless occasions were really formal it would be very normal in my family for out-of-town cousins to drop in at a restaurant or a house for a few minutes to say hi and catch up a little bit. There is a ton of ableism on display in this thread. I’m not coming back to argue about it because there’s no point. OP, all you can really do is support your son and guide him towards relationships and people that are positive, accepting, and not ableist. Continue to reinforced to him that some people are able list and that’s not his fault. Your niece and her mother sound like snotty selfish people. They don’t have ears to hear and there just isn’t any point in trying to say anything. You will probably continue to be attacked in this thread as will this comment. You could try posting in special needs, although that’s been increasingly unpleasant as well. It’s often difficult to find kindness or understanding on DCUM. Frankly, I would just abandon this thread. The cruelty, ignorance, and indifference to differently asked people is really over the top here.[/quote] Well of course, but this was around 1988 when people, especially young people, didn't have the same understanding of ASD that they do now. It's just an example of an innocent misunderstanding. But disability doesn't mean other people can't have and express boundaries. OP needs to respect a boundary even if she disagrees or feels it was rudely expressed. And I think OP's lack of acceptance of this boundary is the real problem here. OP needs [/quote]
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